so, what is autism?

when Paul and I were engaged we were at my parents house sitting on the couch.  We were having one of those, "future conversations," where you talk about how many kids you want, where you want to live and day dreaming about our life together and how great it was going to be.  During that conversation, being the more negative one in the relationship, I asked, "I wonder what trials we are going to have."  We started speculating on what challenges we would face and then we started talking about what we thought we couldn't handle.  I remember saying, "I don't think I could handle a child with autism," and I remember Paul agreeing that he didn't know if he could handle it either. 

about a year ago, I had our first meeting with Early Intervention.  I wasn't quite sure what to expect.  In that evaluation, we discovered that Whitaker was delayed to an 11 month old in certain areas (he was 20 months at the time.)  I was pretty shocked.  I had no idea that he was that behind in receptive and expressive language and in his cognitive development.  At the end of that appointment, I asked the people there what if they thought Whitaker had autism (not knowing that this wasn't the group of people to ask) and I remember they all looked at each other (and it was one of "those" looks) paused and the nurse said, "you'll need to answer a few more questions before anyone can tell you that."  Her answer took me by surprise, it was kind of devastating.  I was hoping she would say, "oh no......".  At that moment I really had to consider the fact that Whitaker may have autism and my reality started to change from having a child who was a "late-talker" to having a child with a serious issue.

So, I had to ask myself, what is autism?  Talk about a difficult question to answer.  Honestly, I don't even know how to answer the question because autism is so complex and it has so many different facets.  It also effects every person differently.  I think Ellen Notbohm said it best in her book 10 Things Every Child With Autism Wishes You Knew.  It was my father-in-law who discovered this gem and told Paul and I about it.  I feel like her "10 Things" article here is a great synopsis of autism and it really illuminates how complex the disorder is.

So for those of you who have a child with autism, know someone who has autism whether that be your friend, brother, sister, niece, nephew or grandchild I hope that this article helps you understand their disorder and helps you be more patient with them.  Even after reading it, I felt like I understood Whitaker and how his autism effects him.

 

 

 

 

And as to not being able to handle a child with autism-I am not going to lie, I've had my moments where I've wondered if I have the skills, patience and energy to give him everything he needs, but those moments are few and far between.  Most days, I am overwhelmed by love and gratitude for him and for everything he teaches me.  And I mean, look at him?!??!?!  He is adorable!

 

jen