When you have a child that needs a little extra help-the reality of life is that you as their primary care provider whether you are their mom, dad, nanny, aunt, uncle, grandpa, grandma, whatever-you become their primary therapist. Shortly after our diagnoses, I felt extremely overwhelmed by all the work that I had ahead of me. Sometimes I felt so overwhelmed, I didn't do anything because it was hard! I had a kid who only wanted to play with me on his terms and who screamed at me whenever I tried something new. I was (and still am to this day) constantly worried that I am not doing enough or not doing the right things for Whitaker. We were given some very WISE advice by a family-friend who is an SLP (speech language pathologist) and she said that, "life is therapy. everything you do is therapy." I have really taken that statement to heart. So, after talking to my sweetheart, we decided to start with "baby-steps."
disclaimer: I am not any kind of therapist and what I say or write may or may not be what an SLP or OT would tell you for your child, but this is what we have learned from our experience and the SLP's and OT's helping us with Whitaker. I've found that the best thing you can do is try an idea and see if it helps. If you have any questions about anything written, please ask either me or your SLP/OT for more guidance or help. So-just to get that out of the way :) Let's move on!
Our first baby-step-toys. Kids with autism sometimes have a hard time playing with toys, they don't know how to play with them or they perseverate on a certain type of toy that they are obsessed with. We also knew that we couldn't be in his face 100% of the time trying to play and showing him how to play with toys so we needed to make his independent play as beneficial to him as possible.
Step One:
organize and box up all your toys.
One of our biggest issues with Whitaker is that we had too many toys out. There were so many options of toys, that it was overwhelming to him. He would fall back on his favorites because he was overwhelmed with the amount of choices. He would also move from toy, to toy, to toy without really mastering any of the skills the toy requires. Even better, he would throw the toys everywhere-which was always a joy for me to clean up later. So, box up your toys according to similarities (all car toys go here, all balls here) We used clear bins so that Whitaker was able to see what was in the bins if he wanted to request for a toy-this is something important for emerging language skills later. This is also a good time to go on a toy-purge. Remember that toys that light up and only require a push of a button are not the most beneficial toys. If you search on pinterest for "Therapeutic Toys," there are TONS of blog posts for great functional toys. A good rule of thumb that I try to use is that the toys has to teach 2 principles. For instance, a basic Fischer-Price shape sorter teaches tons of principles when you think about it-basic language and concepts like in and out, shapes, colors, lid on and lid off. Now, if your child loves an electronic toy, I'm not advocating to take something away that they love, Whitaker has a few that he loves! But-when buying new toys I think it is good to not trust what is written on the box and really think about how functionally you can play with the toy and what you can teach your child.
Step Two:
pick out 4-5 toys to have out for free play
Pick 4 or 5 toys to have out for your child to free-play with. 2 or 3 of those toys should be toys that your child has "mastered" meaning that they know how to play with them. I call these the "fail-safe" toys. The other toys should be toys where the skills involved to play with them are emerging. So, for example, Whitaker loves cars, trucks-really anything with wheels. We decided that we would keep a basket full of cars out and available for him to play with. We also kept out a bus to play with. We figured that these toys were motivating for him that he would play with us and he would play independently. Two of the toys we left out were a drum (to work on 2-handed skills) and a ball/hammer ramp since these skills are emerging.
Step Three:
Patience!
Now, your child may not play with the new toys as often as you hope but continue to show them how to play with the toy. I'll catch Whit playing briefly with the drum and ball tower and if I can, I'll sit down and help extend his play and teach him how the toy is meant to be played with. Children learn with repetition and when a typical-developing kids need to be shown 5 times how to play with a toy, a child on the spectrum needs to be shown 50, if not 100 times. If Whitaker is playing with the toy in a different way then planned-that's OK! The best advice I got was to not immediately correct them, but mimic him, engage him and then see if you can show them a different way to play. This is so hard for me! I want Whitaker to "master" the toy so badly, that I correct him before I've praised him for problem-solving.
Step Four:
Change it up
If the toy that you've wanted to master just isn't working, that's OK. Switch it out for something more basic. You know the whole saying, "You can't walk until you've crawled," well-it's true for toys too. So choose something that is still a skill, but just a little more basic. For instance, if you are trying to get your child to do a puzzle and it's just not working-put the 5 piece puzzle away and find a basic 3 piece puzzle. Also remember shapes come before colors in the developmental pyramid, so trying to get your child to do a color matching activity before they know their shapes isn't beneficial.
Once your child has mastered the skill, change it up. I like to leave the toy that they have newly mastered, get rid of one of the "fail-safe" toys and bring out a new toy that can build upon the skill they've learned. So-if they have learned how to rock that 3-piece puzzle, bust out the 5 piece!
Step Five:
Make Toys visible but not accessible
This is where the clear bins come in handy. If the toys are visible, but not readily accessible, then it forces an interaction with your child. Make it so that you have to help in order for your child to get the toy they want. Asking for help is a developmental skill that is crucial and this is one way you can teach and reinforce those skills. Your child can point to toys, sign, ask, or even use PECS that are on the bins.
Making our home therapeutic is a battle that we are always fighting. Also, even though you do your best to engage your child as frequently as possible, life still goes on and you still have dinner to fix, laundry to fold and a house to maintain. Knowing that the toys out for free-play are beneficial and therapeutic is a real source of peace of mind. Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any questions!
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